a new way to email

I set up my fathers computer a couple of weeks ago. He needed directions written down to use Word. I had to fix the inevitable paper jam. I had to explain the written directions, again.

Update.......... He wrote a letter in word to a friend from the Navy, printed it, put it in an envelope and sent it via USPS.


I saw the first attempt. I'm sure the recipient of the letter is wondering whats up. His spelling is atrocious, I did not remind him about spell check, it would have been too confusing. His words had numbers and stuff.


The first line of the letter I saw, without the numbers...."well I'm back in business with email, my daughter got the computer running again for me."

I am an heiress!

WOO-HOO, I just got off the phone with my father. In today's mail he received a letter notifying him that he won a sweepstakes. Lucky me, I know he will share the wealth. I don't know what I am going to buy first!! Should it be jewelery, a new car, a trip?

It really burns me that they market to senior citizens, raising their hopes with all the double talk. He wasn't listening that he wont be getting a check for hundreds of thousands of dollars. I tried to tell him he is NOT to send any money. At times he gets so angry at my mother if she explains that it is just a con to get his money, other times he understands. I have tried to explain different ways to my mother to make him think she sends the check. She is getting much better at it.

he wants mail

I went to my parents tonight to set up his computer again. He took it apart a few months back and moved it into another room in his basement. It has been happily collecting dust, and he has been very busy outside.

It has been too hot this week to spend much time outdoors. So like he did this past winter, he has been very busy cleaning and rearranging the basement for the hundredth time. He came across the computer and decided that now would be a good time to get it hooked up.

During this past year he has cancelled and re-activated his Internet service many times. Actually he has made my mother do it because he didn't know who to call or what to tell them he needed.

He had a few reasons for his cancellations. His friends sent the same jokes over and over. The first would send the joke to a few friends and they in turn wouldn't look to see who was copied on the original email and send it along to their contacts and by the end of the week he received the same joke 20 times. Then, the emails for Viagra, porn and stock picks were making him crazy.

Unfortunately, this last time he took the computer apart and moved it. You can see where I am going with this. Fortunately, he only lost 2 of the power cords. I searched and finally found one. I had to quick come home to grab an extra power cord for a monitor that I had.

I made him stay away while I hooked it up so that I could get in and delete all of his email. My plan is to tell him he lost everything when it was taken apart. That should stop him from wanting to get service back. He can play with scanning pictures and typing things in Word.

I think he is past being able to remember how to use it. I know that he will not be able to learn again. His ability understand and follow directions is not very good.

It's going to be a long winter!

pleesse drove on cement

My father put this up in his driveway. What else can I say?

commodities for seniors

The best thing I ever did for my parents was to leave town for a month. A few years ago, when my oldest daughter and her future husband bought their home, I went to stay with them for a month to help them get settled.

At that point in time my parents were becoming increasingly dependant on me. They were coming to my house every day. They were so accustomed to stopping by, that when I talked about my upcoming trip I could see the slight fear in their eyes. They did not know what they were going to do without me being here.

I suggested that they stop by the local Senior Center and see what they had to offer. I knew they could have lunches, play games, do crafts, go on bus trips with other seniors and much more for either free or at a reasonable cost. What I did not realize was that there was a Social Worker on staff that was available every day. My parent are on a very low fixed income. They met with the social worker and she was able to get them help with their grocery bill. They each get a box of commodities every month. She has helped them with the new prescription drug coverage to get the best plan. She has gotten them safety bars for the bathrooms and other things that they should have. She has also set them up with a cleaning lady twice a month at no cost to them. I am sure that there is much more that I haven't mentioned.

I suggest that everyone should check out their local senior center to see what programs they offer, especially if your parents are on a fixed income.

alzheimer's for dummies

My sister and I laugh that what is needed is a book called Alzheimer's for Dummies. Or maybe we should just write one. Unfortunately we can not let my mother read the book. The last time she read some of the literature on Alzheimer's, she panicked and set off a chain reaction that caused my father to have a setback. I guess in truth my nightly visits are more about keeping my mother calm.

stroke update

My father has announced he has never felt better!!

"Look how good I can raise both arms"

Of course he has no idea what was exactly wrong with his left arm. Depending on the day it has been his caused by his pillow, a pinched nerve, it was bruised, the girls (home health care) that came and had him do exercises with a pulley system or a million other reasons or just no idea why.

He has forgotten about the stroke. Part of me thinks that's OK, and part of me wishes he could remember. I worry that he doesn't remember that he can't drive.

denial

Let me give some background on my father and his Alzheimer's. You have to understand he is in denial and we have chosen to allow that. He thinks he is just forgetting things as a natural part of aging. His father had Alzheimer's and had to go into a nursing home. On a regular basis he tells us he would rather die than have that happen to him. He has convinced himself the Alzheimer's testing was a routine memory test to find the right vitamins and drugs to help his memory. He has had some rough times, his first attempt at taking an Alzheimer's drug made him paranoid and he started having panic attacks. He was sure that the drug was giving him heart attacks to kill him, and he was accusing my mother of trying to get rid of him. That medication lasted 2 days.

A year later and a second attempt with a different medication lasted 3 days. He became totally delusional. He was somewhat argumentative, slightly combative, he had times of not knowing my mother, and he was seeing things and people that were not there. He ended up in the hospital to get back on track and do the evaluation if he needed nursing home care. All of the experts recommended admission but there were no openings until possibly the following week. We took him home from the hospital and that started my at least once a day visits. Back at home and with the latest drug out of his system he turned back into a man who was able to live at home for some time longer. As a matter of fact, he is better now than he has been for at least a year or more.

This is not to say the the new drugs for Alzheimer's patients are bad. Only an observation that not everyone responds to medication, nor can everyone take the drugs. He also can not take penicillin, but millions of people can and are helped everyday.

car repair

I am hoping that my parents car will be out of the body shop today. My father was in a minor accident over a month ago and the car finally went to get repaired. After waiting for the insurance check they had to wait for an opening in the body shop. It happened when he turned into the street without looking and another car was coming. Luckily speed was not a factor and no one was injured.

We had been trying to come up with a way to get him to stop driving but our gentle suggestions were not working. The day of the accident everything went right for him, and not so much for us.

First, he wanted to leave the scene of the accident because he needed to get in line for senior commodities. My mother convinced him he needed to stay put. If she would have allowed him to drive over the half of block and get in line maybe the officer would have viewed the accident differently. Missed opportunity #1

After handing the officer his registration and licence, he was going to leave again. He thought he was done. Again mom stopped him. According to her, both times took a lot of convincing. This makes missed opportunity #2

We live in a small town so of course everyone knows everyone. The "helpful" Police Officer did not give him a ticket even though it was clearly his fault. Missed opportunity #3

The car has been in the shop for almost two weeks. The original estimate was wrong. They thought it was mainly cosmetic damage, but when they started the work they found the frame was damaged and they needed to order more parts. It has actually been helpful to have the car gone for so long. He has gotten accustomed to me being the chauffeur for Doctor appointments and for grocery shopping. He does get upset thinking the car has been gone for much longer than it should. The Alzheimer's has made time one of the things he has trouble with. Seasons and anything past tomorrow confuse him.

Lets hope when they get the car back he won't argue with my mom about her driving. We have reminded him that he promised his doctor he won't drive since the stroke. He thinks, or in his case he knows, he is invincible.

companys coming

I get a night off tonight. I do not have to watch a baseball game. I do not have to listen to the same stories. I do not have to carry on two conversations at once.

Every evening I get into my car and drive to my parents house and my husband gets into his truck and goes to his mothers. We meet back at home a few hours later to relax and talk about our day. This is our life. He has been on this schedule for a number of years and mine is a recent thing. My dad is in the early stages of Alzheimers, and last week had another mini stroke.

But tonight, my mothers second cousin and husband are in town and are going to see them. This couple normally spend the entire day and into the night, but surprisingly mom told them to come after dinner for dessert. During last years visit, the cousin asked if my parents minded if she went to lay down for a nap, when she woke up he went into the bedroom and took his nap. You need to realize that they are at least 20 years younger than my parents. My parents didn't get their afternoon nap that day.

So I'm going over now to drop a few things off that they need and then come home and not leave the house for the entire night! Unfortunately it is sleep over night for my husband at his mothers.